I always sleep especially well on Friday nights, as the stress of the week dissipates into a cloud of movie, easy chair, and 6 ounce beer. We saw a movie called Passengers. I was able to stay awake because Diana called in the middle of it, before I nodded off, and that woke me up enough to get through the rest. It was an interesting flick, similar to Sixth Sense , except that it's Anne Hathaway instead of Bruce Willis who discovers that she's dead. This morning, we slept till 8:30, then drank coffee and read the paper in bed. At ll, I had a hair appointment. I like the different look I requested---more layered but still longish.
On Monday night, when Paul was at his CETIA class, I told Liberto I had a strong feeling my contract won't be renewed for next year. I just sense it. By the end of the conversation, he was on-line looking up non-teaching employment possibilities in the area and saying, "Why you'd be really good at this" or "You'd qualify for that. Too bad you can't apply right now." The result was that while he would not be overjoyed to lose my income, he realizes we could adjust if he had to and that I have one or two other skills in addition to teaching.
My 2nd block class has become unbearable because of two loud and malicious girls who do everything to sabotage my teaching. Then others who are normally well-behaved see the chance to hop on the bandwagon. I wrote them up, again, but there's been no response from the Administration, which I see as a sign that they're either too overwhelmed by the growing school-wide behavior problems, or they think I should be able to make them shut up on my own. How do you make someone be quiet who does not care about grades, parental calls, or any consequences? I'm just tired of expending so much energy every day on things that reap no results. In a month, I'll have new students. Then I'll be able to determine whether I'm tired of teaching in general or just tired of bad students.
A funny thing happened this week; I got a call from the Dean at Armstrong, where I'd sent my vita a week ago, just to see if I could get my toe in the door for the future by teaching a part-time course in the evening or on weekends. This Dean was a very friendly guy, a kindred spirit kind of vibe. He said he had passed my vita on to the English Department, but while looking at it, he noticed my book Back From the Land, became interested, and ordered it. He read it, and knew some of the people who were interviewed for it. He then asked if I would come to his class on Environmentism as a guest speaker later this semester and talk about my adventures as a counterculturalist, and maybe we could also have lunch right before that? He's a tad younger than I am, but clearly remembers the back-to-the-land movement. That was one of the positive moments of the week. . . talking to another adult, a professional, who is on the same wavelength.
Paul applied to Central Georgia Tech in Macon, so he could add a few courses to his current drafting diploma and turn it into an Associates degree. He plans to take only on-line courses. He also applied at Armstrong, to try out some courses in their engineering program.
Liberto had a very stressful week at work. He works hard. He works long hours. He puts up with a lot of ornery personalities. This is why it would be difficult for me to just throw in the towel on high-school teaching if I were to resign on my own rather than BE retired by the powers that be. Having a strong work ethic, he believes that come hell or high water, you stick to what you have, happy or not, period. He might have trouble understanding that I'm not sure I can teach high school anymore without losing it one day and strangling one of them. How terrible that sounds. But you'd have to be there. Remember, I am 61, not 31, so I'm getting cranky with age and losing my sense of humor about their cute antics, such as stuffing the student toilet with paper towels yet again. Actually, despite Liberto's daily stress and complaints, when I ask him bluntly, "Do you like your job?" he always says, "Oh, yes." I then tell him that if he feels stressed now, try to imagine how he will feel 11 years in the future when he has worked his way up to the age I am now. He reminds me that in 12 years, 5 months, 4 days and 8 hours, he will have a viable pension from the city, which he feels makes it all worth it. Diana says that maybe if I no longer worked full-time and had the extra time to learn to cook lovely dinners which awaited Liberto when he arrived home from work each day, he'd be much more amenable to having an under-employed wife.
Today, I am creating the final exam, which will be given on Thursday and Friday next week. That means I have three more class days, Monday through Wednesday, to keep the classes engaged. I remember a scene in the movie Office Space, which Paul and I adore, in which Peter asks a hynotherapist, "Is there any way you can hypnotize me so that I can go to work but not remember any of it, and just think that I've been fishing all day?"
Shawn is arriving on Saturday. He got a leave from Fort Eustis to come down for two weeks. Much as I'd like to, I don't think we'll get up to Washington because Liberto doesn't get time off the way teachers do, just Christmas Day. On New Year's Day, he's leaving for Venezuela for three weeks, and is using his vacation time for that. I may also be getting dental implants that week, which would get in the way of traveling. I have some bridgework that needs reinforcement. Fun, huh?
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