Domestic engineering

If I were retired, I would still be working full-time around the house. Keeping up with household business can eat up hours or days. I have the day off today, but here's how it's gone so far:
8:00 a.m. Time to fill out the application for renewed teacher certification. The current certificate expires on May 30. I may or may not want to be a teacher, but I need to keep the options open. I might be a school speech therapist someday for all I know. Okay, start filling out the form. Three pages long. Hmmm....let's see. I need to enclose copies of the Praxis scores from the two major tests I took in 2004 to become a teacher. Rummage through the office. Find the original Praxis tests and scores (thank goodness I'm a Pack Rat.) Photocopy them. The copier is slow. Very slow. Review the fine print of the form; answer all questions. Get the packet together and try to determine whether this material could be sent electronically. Go to Georgia Professional Standards website and wander through the maze of links. Finally conclude that they do not welcome electronic submissions since there is no email address offered nor any invitation to submit electronically. Back to the office to find a large manila envelope; address it. Stick in purse. Will mail it when I go out. I could put it in the outgoing mail, but the little weighing machine isn't working, so I don't know the amount of postage. Besides, the mail from the outgoing box has a higher rate of non-arrival than mail that goes directly to the post office.

Next on list, take the luggage that is crowding the laundry room to the Good Will, so that I can move enough to throw in a load of wash. That room is so packed that it's hard to get around. Some items are destined for the Humane Society, others for the landfill, and the luggage for the Good will. I asked Liberto why he wants to give away those perfectly good garment bags; he replied that they are no longer allowed on airlines because of new baggage regulations. So I'll go the Good Will on the way to the post office. Drop off the items, mail my teacher certificate renewal, and might as well stop and play Fantasy Five at the convenience store.

Next on the agenda: GROAN! Figure out why Liberto's flexible spending account has been frozen. I've already faxed in the receipts they wanted TWICE! I can't wait to go over this with them again. Go on-line and find their phone number (they don't publicize it on their letters; I wonder why); call. Problems with the call. The person who answers cannot hear me. She is yelling,"HELLO! Hello??" while I'm shouting, "Can you hear me? Hello? Can you hear me now?" To add to the household problems, the server that keeps the internet, the televisions, and the phones alive has been fizzling out all week. Yesterday, the internet was down for hours. I just about went rabid, like a junkie without a fix. Remember the South Park episode, a parody of Grapes of Wrath, where the internet disappears, everyone goes berserk and a caravan of internet-starved people head West, In Search of the Internet? Hilarious episode. Yesterday, I spent a long session on the phone, cell phone that is, asking Comcast to make it better! The representative said that the earliest they could send a technician to the house would be next Thursday. AAUGGHH! Meanwhile, the system has been capricious. So...this morning just as I connect with a Flex account rep, the phone begins to die. Urge to scream. I call back on my cell phone, which is difficult because the keyboard disappears, so it takes a few seconds to retrieve it to punch in numbers----"if you want to speak to a rep, press 2. Sorry. I did not understand you!---while I'm working to revive the tiny keyboard on the cell phone. Finally, a live human being tells me to send them the forms verifying the time, place and amount of a dental appointment I had six months ago. I have already sent that very form in twice before and have the copies to prove it. This time, she says, please also send the receipt for a $71 charge for another dental appointment last August. Okay. Whatever. I'll do it again. Collect the paperwork and print out a fax cover letter, emphasizing that this has been done before. Start the fax machine, send it. Just to be sure, I also mail it.

Next: One of the young teachers at work had invited me to a party this afternoon to buy purses. It's a pyramid scheme, obviously, and I'm not into that at all. Six months ago, I attended a jewelry party hosted by one of the teachers, and from the first sentence uttered by the speaker, I recognized the pyramid pitch. I bought a few pieces of jewelry anyway, to help out the hostess-teacher, because I knew she was going through hard times. As for today's purse party, I told the hostess I wouldn't be able to attend but that I planned to buy a few items directly from their website. I did this so I wouldn't seem anti-social, even though I probably am. Truth is, I like having time to myself, away from people, and this is my only day off for a month. EGADS, the prices of the purses were steep! But since I feel lucky and am always conscious that others may not be as fortunate as we are, I ordered two little purses on Tuesday. Wednesday at work, she told me that the merchandise I had ordered were actually purse "skirts", fancy little covers for purses, but not purses. She wanted to make sure I knew because the pictures in the catalog were misleading. In fact, I HAD thought I was buying purses. But, she said, showing me the catalog, if I were to buy an actual purse, I could get another purse-cover free. Thus, digging myself deeper, I assured her I'd go online and buy the real purse. Another chunk of time spent navigating a web and making a purchase.

Another item on the agenda: Shawn's verizon account. He had asked me---the day before deployment, I think---to see if I could drop his telephone from the account, but keep the internet. One long conversation with Verizon later, I learned that I could not drop it. Either he must contact them directly, or I must be on the account. But, the rep said mysteriously, there is a name of another party on the account, and if she gives permission to add you to be on the account, then you can drop the phone service. I was pretty sure who the other person on the account was, the girl Shawn was going to marry last December but for some reason, it fell through. I never asked for details, of course, and he never offered any. She is one of my facebook friends, so I contacted her to ask if she would add me on the account. A few days later, she messaged me back that she had.

Now, bracing myself for another nice LONG conversation with Verizon, I've noticed that it's already 1:30. Paul and I are going to the movies this afternoon to see "Red Riding Hood." I've only finished a few things on my checklist, and the day is half over! But today is the one day off I'll have until April 18, so I'd better inject some fun into it.