Matt

Heartbreaking news about Matt today. The guidance counselor emailed me yesterday that she had an update on his condition and wanted to see me; however, I had to rush off the minute school ended to attend the closing for our refinancing. So I went to see her today during my planning period. I was actually expecting her to give me good news, optimistic fool that I am. Instead she said that recent tests showed that his cancer has matastacized to his lungs and the doctor doesn't think he'll live more than a few more days. He's in the hospital now. I burst out in tears. My heart has felt like lead ever since.

When I first started his homebound schooling last fall, he looked and acted perfectly heathy. I knew he'd been diagnosed with some aggressive form of cancer a week before school started, but he looked like any other 14-year-old boy. As the weeks passed, his hair fell out, but he still looked very well, to me, and was energetic enough to do more work than most of the lazy students who inhabit my classes, and to do it well. In January, I felt he had done enough to be considered certified in 9th Grade Comp/Lit because I knew he was about to be schooled in math and science too, so I finished up our work. From time to time, I've asked the math teacher about him when I'd pass him in the hall. About a week ago, he said Matt had gone to the hospital because of fluid in the lungs that needed to be drained. But he didn't act as though it was anything life-threatening. During the time I homeschooled him, he had to spend occasional nights in the hospital.

Then the bad news this morning. Apparently, the math teacher had found out yesterday and was equally devastated. Things like this help create perspective.