Heebie-jeebies

Yes, I've got a little bit of the h.j.'s about starting the new school year next week. First, there's the change in routine. Now I'll have to arise in the near-dark again at 5:30. No more late night movies or watching "Property Virgins" at 11:30p.m. No more interesting dreams about people, places, and things in the universe outside the classroom; now my sleeping mind will be flooded with dreams about classrooms, hand-outs, and broken copy machines. Then there's the change from the leisurely summer pace back to the rush-rush. In addition, the larger issues loom before me: what will my new students be like? Will there be any hyperactive, show-stealing, posturing kids whose mission is to stir up drama and draw attention from the other classmates? I took a peek at the class lists on PowerTeacher and my jaw dropped when I saw the name of a guy I've already had twice before! He's an 11th or 12th grader now, about 19 years old. I think his unwillingness to do the work is a cover for some reading disabilities.

I'm also nervous about teaching "Basic Reading" for the first time. The chair asked me to teach one section of it so she wouldn't have to do three sections herself, which is understandable. She warned me that these 9th graders are harder to control that the regular ones. They can't/won't/don't like to read, so they disrupt instead.

I'm nervous about re-joining the society of teachers that I work with. Most of them are in a quite different stage of life than I am, preoccupied with babies, diets, and nights out with the girls. Been there, done that. Tired of it. I'm more into my family, my husband-as-my-best friend, the wonderful company of my sons, the pleasure of long-term friends, the joys of being at home with a good book or movie on a Friday night. I get along with most of the other teachers, in a surface sort of way, but have little desire to see any of them outside of the school day. I recently went to a gathering of the female teachers from my former school, Groves, and feel much more in tune with those women. They are more mature. Many have grandchildren!


Oh, to add to my anxiety list, on Thursday, I broke a permanent bridge, and have an appointment to see the dentist tomorrow. Although Liberto and I have not one but two dental insurances and a flexible spending account for medical and dental, I'm terrified that it will cost a fortune. Dental work ain't cheap, and I've got a mind to write to Obama to point out that something should be done about dental health for our nation, as well as medical. Even good dental insurance has a $1,000 a year cap. That's good for about two x-rays and a cleaning. One of the reasons Shawn is joining the Army is that they'll take care of his medical needs and his teeth. Not having had money or insurance for a long time, he needs thousands of dollars worth of dental work. Even if he had a dental plan right now, the $1,000 a year cap would prevent any real improvement.

The other possibility tomorrow is that the dentist can just re-cement it in as it is and send me on my way. I have it shoved into place for the time being with some poli-grip and I try to chew on the other side.

Shawn now has a reservation for the helicopter repair division of the military. He is leaving tomorrow for an initiation at Ft. Jackson, which will last two days. They show the recruits around, give them a physical, and put them in the "hot seat" for questioning. If he passes all that, he can officially sign up for the six-year stint, and he will begin four-month basic training on Sept. 23, at either a base in Virginia or Mississippi. Maybe that's another reason for my heebie-jeebies; there's about to be a huge change in his life. Ours too.

I'm nervous about Pete too. So far, he hasn't suffered at all, but he's getting thinner and isn't eating as much as he used to. I worry about him.

Paul and I went to the gym today, and I felt a little bit more centered after a good work out. One thing I did get out of that Covey training last June was to write down my Quadrant II activities on my calendar, as an appointment. Once it's written down, it seems more like an official directive, so I go and do it. For some reason, that has worked. For the past three weeks, I've been going to the gym three times a week and have stuck to it. Next week, I have it written down for Tuesday and Thursday, after school. That will be the real test, to see if I keep going and not let it slide because of other "more important" things. One of the teachers at my school works out at 4:30 a.m. every day, so she can come to school invigorated. If I can drop in for half an hour at 4 PM twice a week, I'll be doing well.